Tragic Flaw

August 2, 2010

I think if I had to name one quality that is the bane of my existence–the one thing I would fix about myself if I had a chance,  it would probably be the fact that I panic.

I think the problem isn’t just that I panic, because I’m pretty sure everyone panics. Its more an issue of how I handle situations that would induce me to panic. Call it what you want: buckling under the pressure, not being able to handle the heat… the idea is the same. In situations where I’m not prepared I would simply blank out and freeze up. Rather than actually thinking about how to solve problem X, or how to handle situation Y, my mind get filled with “HOLY SHIT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS @#!%%@ MOTHER @!#$@ @#% GOD @#$#@#!! NOW EVERYONE IS STARING AT ME OH GOD THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I SEE THIS COMING AHHHHH FML“, only on infinite repeat.

What makes me so angry about it all is that if I could just focus my mind, most of the time I would be just fine. I can’t even begin to count the number of times where I would leave an entire question empty on an exam, and then solve the problem in my head 5 minutes after I walked out the door, when I’ve calmed down. And it’s not just about high stress situations either. Let’s say I’m with a friend and there’s a lull in a conversation, rather than thinking about something to say, I would think about how I can’t think of anything to say. Or if I can’t recall something trivial, rather than trying to remember, I would think about how stupid I am for forgetting something so simple. If need to get a  bunch of stuff done, but don’t have the time, I would end up wasting more time despairing about how I’m going to do it all than it would take to actual do one of the tasks. And the list goes on and on.

Think of it like this. Let’s say you own an old car, and this car isn’t great at climbing hills. If this car is anything like my mind, then whenever it hits a steep slope, rather than ramping up the horsepower and switching to a lower gear, it would simply just spray cheese whiz all over its engine.

I bet you just went “Urg, that’s disgusting.” Yeah, that’s how I feel about myself every time I panic.

13 Responses to “Tragic Flaw”

  1. Eric Mesa Says:

    At least Webcomic Min didn’t panic when he went up against the devil. ( http://server.ericsbinaryworld.com/notmad/2010/06/28/i-love-a-fiddle-contest/ ). He calmly took that challenge!

    • Min Says:

      Yeah.. totally unrealistic. I would’ve totally choked in that situation. In fact, I think I’ve choked in every piano recital I’ve ever been in.

      • Eric Mesa Says:

        Were you able to ID the song you’re playing?

      • Min Says:

        Yep! It’s actually my warmup song, and incidentally the only song I have memorized.

        Dan knows me too well.

      • Eric Mesa Says:

        I find it scary that I chose your warmup song completely by accident. It’s like making INM Min play the piano somehow jacked him into your consciousness. Or it is totally not spooky because it’s everyone’s warmup song?

      • Min Says:

        Oh, you picked it? I thought Dan picked it cause he saw it on my piano that ONE time he visited my place.

        Not nearly as impressed now. 😦

      • Eric Mesa Says:

        be impressed in my ability to know that!!

      • Eric Mesa Says:

        Rest assured that without Daniel, the comic would make a lot less sense. While Dan does, at times, make a suggestion that leads to an entire storyline, he is mostly my very much needed editor. He makes sure the strips make sense, he helps me create continuity jokes, and lets me know when things are getting too much inside baseball for even this strip.

      • Dan Says:

        THANKS ERIC! Jerk…

        No, I don’t remember seeing that sheet music. As far as I’m concerned, the only sheet music you own is the Final Fantasy music book I gave you.

      • Eric Mesa Says:

        Hey, you wanted to correct Min, but the reply doesn’t nest enough. Shoot, it would have to nest like 20 deep with this conversation. Is this the most comments on one post in your blog, Min?

      • Min Says:

        Yep, I think the old record was like 7 or 8.

  2. Dan Says:

    You don’t panic when we’re getting rocked in StarCraft II. I think we’ve actually won games where I was like “Nope, we lost forever! We should just quit playing the game” and your cool head prevails.

    In other games you panic with the funny Min panic high-pitched voice. Good times. Always amusing.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: